Love Yourself: Why Self-Acceptance Is the Key to Fulfillment

Reverend Leo H. McCrary II

There is beauty in your imperfection and you must learn to love yourself to have serenity.

Introduction

Serenity is real, but many of us can’t believe it because of the challenges that try to keep us from finding serenity.  As we’ve seen, one of those challenges requires us to break free from man’s system.  Another challenge we face is ourselves— we are quick to put ourselves down and block ourselves from better. You must learn to love yourself to be able to live in serenity.   

Blocked by Self-Loathing

Many people block themselves from living in serenity due to their self-loathing nature.  There are many who don’t believe they are worthy of better than what they have now because they see themselves as not being a good person— not being perfect.  

There is a recognition of some that their sins are great and many.  So, because they’ve done too many terrible things, there is this belief that they don’t deserve anything good.  In fact, many believe that where they are today is what they truly deserve, as it serves as penance for their sins.

Who Is Serenity Meant For?

So, is it true that a bad person doesn’t deserve a chance at living in serenity?  Who is serenity meant for?

Paul’s painful admission

As I share with you Paul’s words today, I want to remind you of who Paul was.  Paul was an apostle of Christ, as he was personally taught by Christ (Gal. 1:12,17).  Much of the New Testament scripture is credited to Paul as he wrote several letters to churches and believers.

However, Paul had a history that he could not hide from anyone.  As he spoke of in his letter to the Galatian church, before his conversion, Paul persecuted the church.  Not only did Paul persecute the church, he admitted to seeking to destroy the church (Gal. 1:13).

You see, Paul was a devout man in Judaism as he was of the Pharisees, taught by Gamaliel (Acts 22:3).  In other words, he was a man who was dedicated to the way of the law, yet it was a law that the scribes and Pharisees had twisted.  Paul was so devoted to the law that he was the one who led the crowd to stone Stephen, a young preacher, to death (Acts 7:58, 22:20).

Paul never tries to hide his crimes, as he once told Timothy that he was chief of all sinners (1 Tim. 1:15).  In Philippians 3:12, Paul even acknowledges that he was not perfect!  Many of us would say that he if he was deserving of anything, it would be punishment for his sinful atrocities against believers.  

Yet, Paul tells us that though he knew he wasn’t perfect, he still pressed on so that he may lay hold of what Christ had laid hold of for him (Phil. 3:12).  How could someone with Paul’s crimes say that he pressed on to lay hold of the serenity that Christ has laid hold of for mankind?

Serenity is meant for all kinds of people

The truth of the matter is that serenity is meant for someone just like Paul.  Serenity is meant for all kinds of sinful people!  How do I know this?  Well, let’s consider Jesus’ own words on the matter.

In Luke 5:31-32, Jesus told the scribes and Pharisees that he didn’t come for those who already think themselves well – those who are self-righteous.  Jesus told them that He came to save the sick and call sinners to repentance.  Paul was sick in his spirit and was in need of serenity.  Many of us today are sick or have been sick in our souls, and we should understand that Jesus’ serenity is meant just for us!

In John 8:1-12, Jesus showed mercy and grace to an adulteress whom the religious leaders were ready to stone to death.  Serenity was meant for people just like her!  

In the Beatitudes, found in Matthew 5:1-12, Jesus spoke of those whom serenity is meant for.  Jesus spoke of the great reward that awaits those who are poor in spirit.  Jesus said that serenity is meant for those who are persecuted for His name’s sake.  Jesus said that serenity is meant for those who are reviled!

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said that serenity is meant for all of those who are heavy laden and choose to come to Him for rest!  You see, Paul didn’t realize just how heavy laden he was in his soul, so, Jesus came to him and offered him rest in his soul!  On the road to Damascus, Paul received God’s grace and mercy!  From that point forward, Paul put his faith in the grace and mercy that had been shown to him!

God’s Grace Qualifies You

All of us are qualified for living in serenity today, but again, many of us can’t believe it.  I feel that those who are choosing to disqualify themselves from serenity need to see even more how and why they qualify.

In Ephesians 2:1-10, Paul had to share a message to the church of Ephesus.  You see, the church of Ephesus was a church that was beginning to divide and consume itself.  The church was made up of both Jews and Gentiles, but the Jews didn’t get along much with the Gentile believers.  The Jewish believers believed they were more worthy than Gentile believers of God’s rewards.

So, Paul desired to make it clear to this church who is qualified to live in serenity and how.  

In Ephesians 2:4-5, we will see that Paul spoke about God being rich in mercy.  As we know, mercy is the notion of one being patient or lenient to another.  Because of God’s great love, Paul spoke of how the Lord made alive those who were once dead in their trespasses against the Lord.

Those who are “saved”, Paul makes it very clear, that we are saved by the grace of God and not by our works (Eph. 2:8).  Paul was expressing this sentiment to those Jewish believers who were taking a self-righteous stance against the Gentiles.  Paul was reminding the Jews that they were once sinners who had the opportunity to live in serenity.  

Everybody in the world qualifies to live in serenity because of God’s grace towards us.  Let us remember what Jesus told Nicodemus, as it is recorded in John 3:16.  Jesus told Nicodemus that God loved the world – all people – and gave His only begotten Son so that whoever chooses to believe in Him won’t perish but will have everlasting life.

John 3:16 is a promise that is made to all people, rather than just a special group!  God loved the world when the world was falling into darkness, into sin.  To you who believe you are disqualified from serenity because of your sins, let’s be very clear, you are qualified.

Paul reminded the self-righteous ones who were in the church of Ephesus that when they walked according to the course of this world, they were saved (Eph. 2:2-3).  Paul, again, reminded those who were self-righteous in the church of Ephesus that when they walked according to Satan’s way, they were saved.  Paul reminded the self-righteous in that church that when they were giving into their lusts, they were saved!

I want you who believe that you are disqualified from serenity to understand that you are more than qualified.  Do you look at me as being more qualified than you because I am a Pastor?  Do you believe me to be perfect?  Do you believe the same for one who is a deacon, a mother, or an usher in the church?

We are all sinners that fall short of the glory of the Lord!  We are all in need of Christ and His help so that we may lay hold of what He has laid hold of us!  We all must stop letting our doubts and negativity hold us back from what Christ has laid hold of us!  We must stop letting sin and our past keep us from a wonderful future!

In John 16:33, Jesus is recorded as saying that He has given His peace to those who follow Him.  Jesus has given us His peace so that we may overcome our enemies, which also includes our own fear and doubt.  Jesus has given to us the peace of mind to know that serenity is ours, and we shouldn’t listen to any negativity that builds up within us.

You Are Qualified for Excellence

You may think yourself unqualified for serenity because of your flaws and imperfections.  However, God makes it very clear that you are perfectly qualified to live in His serenity.  

As expressed by Paul in Ephesians 2:1, one who chooses to believe in Christ is qualified to be made alive in their soul while living in this world.  This speaks of how the sincere believer receives the Holy Spirit.  The work of the Holy Spirit is to renew and strengthen our souls by leading and guiding us in all truth (John 16:13; Rom. 12:2).

When one chooses to believe in Christ, Paul expressed that one is qualified to sit with Christ in heavenly places, in the new day (Eph. 2:6).  This is a sight that is shown to us through the Book of Revelation when the new day is brought to light.

When one chooses to believe in Christ, Paul spoke of how one is qualified to be shown the exceeding riches of God’s grace (Eph. 2:7).  God’s love is a love that we will certainly experience in the new day as the bride of Christ.  However, God’s love is a love that one can receive right now while living in the world.

Jesus made it clear that the Lord will give one the desires of their heart so that He may be glorified (John 15:7-8).  You see, those who choose to walk in spirit and truth are qualified for so much more than what this world can give because of God’s love.  So I ask you today:  If God loves and qualifies us to live in such a better way, even when we aren’t perfect, why should we disqualify ourselves?

Develop a Mindset to Move Forward in God’s Grace

Paul chose not to disqualify himself.  In Philippians 3:14, we will see where he repeated that he would reach forward and press towards the goal.  Paul wouldn’t let his being imperfect keep him from the wonderful prize of serenity from the Lord.  You and I must develop a Paul-like mindset when it comes to pressing towards the goal of serenity!

Recognize what is important

The first thing we must do to develop the mindset to keep pressing on is to recognize what is most important in our lives.  In Philippians 3:7-8, Paul spoke of how he counted all things loss and rubbish in order to gain Christ.  

What Paul is speaking of losing is all that he had gained in the world.  As one who was of the Pharisees, Paul once had a bit of power and authority.  Remember, he had the power and authority to move against early followers of Christ.  Paul had what many men dream of having today, but he gave it all up, counted all of it rubbish.

How many of us are willing to give up the world to gain Christ?  Sadly, it seems that so many more are willing to give up their own soul in order to gain the world.  Yet, the world and its riches are here today and gone tomorrow!  I much rather give up the world so that I can receive what Christ has laid hold of me.

You must love yourself

With this in mind, we must recognize God’s grace.  God gave His only begotten Son for us.  Why was Christ given to the world?  Was Christ given because we, mankind, were already perfect?  If we were already perfect, there would be no need for Christ!  Again, Christ was given because God loved us even when we weren’t perfect.

So, in order for us to develop a steadfast mind to lay hold of what Christ has laid hold of us, you must learn to love yourself.  Now, what do I mean by saying that you must learn to love yourself?  Well, ask yourself whether or not you love yourself enough to help yourself?

You see, one who loves themselves will choose to take steps to care for themselves in a healthy manner rather than choosing what is unhealthy.  I want to be clear that I am telling you to love yourself in a manner that is filled with envy, covetousness, greed, and jealousy.

No, you must love yourself to the point where you can recognize your sins and atrocities and choose to do something about them.  It is unhealthy for you to recognize you aren’t a good person, but then do nothing about it!  In 1 John 1:9, we are told that the Lord is both faithful and just to cleanse us from unrighteousness if we confess our sins to Him.

We aren’t perfect, and won’t reach perfection while in the world.  Yes, it is OK for us to admit this truth if we choose to do something about it!   God doesn’t want you to accept that you are imperfect and never turn to Him.  God doesn’t want any of us to settle into being a sinner as if that is OK.

When we understand that we aren’t perfect and turn to the Lord, that is what helps us move forward.  In Philippians 3:13, Paul spoke about how he would forget those things which were behind him so that he could reach forward.  The reason why he could do this is because God had already relieved him of the burdens of his past!

Put forth the effort of God’s grace

For us to live in serenity, we must learn to put forth the effort of God’s grace.  

Paul spoke of maturity.  Maturity speaks of maturation – growth and development.  The one who is mature is able to live knowing they aren’t perfect.  The one who is mature learns to live knowing that they are a sinner that is justified of their sins.  The one who is mature understands that God has moved on their behalf and one the behalf of others.

You see, God has shown us great love so that we may continue to grow and improve!  God has shown us great love so that we may walk in fellowship (in harmony) with Him!  You see, to walk in alignment with the Lord is another key to living in serenity.  God has not shown us great love so that we will continue to choose to disqualify ourselves from a better way.

Serenity is meant for you!  However, you must make the effort to live in serenity rather than choosing to live otherwise.  You must stop disqualifying yourself, but rather, make the choice to press towards the goal of the prize of the upward call of God.  You can easily find serenity in Him and live in it today if you choose to put forth the effort.  I encourage you to put forth the effort.