Stop Defeating Yourself: Turn Self-Pity Into Joy

Preached on October 13, 2024

The devil doesn’t want you to choose God and will do his best to convice you that God wants you to wallow in self-pity and guilt. Watch this week’s message as Pastor preaches about the certain truth that God loves you. There is ultimate victory in the fact that God loves you. Will you take it?

Introduction

God desires for you to choose to have life – that is He desires for you to have life everlasting in His kingdom joy, love, and peace.  Sadly, some of us don’t believe we can be saved and this thought is destructive.  Know your worth!  It is incredibly important that you know your worth so that you don’t defeat yourself.

Called to Be Saved

I want to open today’s message by talking about God giving His only begotten Son.  God sent His only begotten Son to this world for one reason:  to save it from His fiery indignation against sin.  Yes, Jesus came to save everybody.  

Jesus confirmed this when He told Nicodemus that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).  Jesus confirmed this even further when He spoke to the disciples about being the good shepherd.  Jesus told the twelve that He has sheep who are not of the fold of the Jews that He will also bring with Him.  Those sheep, Jesus said He will shepherd over as a good shepherd over one flock (John 10:16).  

So, God chose the world – He chose you – will you choose Him?  

I want this to be known because sadly, many have drunk the kool-aid of Satan’s lies.  As we saw last week, the devil wants people to believe that God doesn’t love nor care about them.  Sadly, many people drink his kool-aid, believing it is sweet to the taste, when it leaves a bitter and sour after taste. 

One ought not drink from the cup of the devil!   When you drink from the cup of Satan, it can lead to a very destructive spirit developing within.  There are many who are dealing with the spirit of self-pity and guilt because they drank from his cup.  Yes, there are many people today who truly believe that they cannot be saved because they are filled with guilt and self-pity.

Turmoil of Self-Pity and Guilt

Do you find yourself in a constant state of self-pity?  Self-pity is defined as a self-indulgent dwelling on one’s sorrows or misfortunes.  It is unhealthy for one to constantly be dwelling on what they lack or don’t have.  You see, dwelling in such a place can leave one in a pit of depression and despair.  As we know, coming out of such a pit is impossible if one doesn’t believe God will lift them up.  

Do you find yourself in a constant state of guilt? Guilt is defined as the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously.  Guilt is also defined as the feeling of deserving blame for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy (feeling less).  It is unhealthy for one to constantly feel inadequate or deserving of nothing but blame.  Do you find yourself in a constant state of guilt because of your past, your wicked deeds, and think you can’t and don’t deserve forgiving? 

If you find yourself constantly in these states, just know that the adversary is attacking you.  In fact, you’re right where the adversary wants you to be.  The adversary wants you to feel inadequate and to dwell on your sorrows and misfortunes.  The adversary wants you to believe that you can’t be lifted up from these lowly pits.  The adversary wants you to believe God has abandoned you. 

Choose Life Over Death

So, as a child of God, we have a calling and an election to fulfill.  We must preach to those who are succumbing to the lies of Satan.  We must preach to those who are succumbing to their guilt and self-pity.  Once again, we must combat the lies and the deceptions that work against the salvation of the Lord.

In both of his letters to the Corinthian church, we see that is what Paul was doing. In his second letter, Paul shared his thoughts on sorrow.  In 2 Corinthians 7:8, Paul stated, “Even if I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it.”  

A rebuke of correction to live

In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul really got on them about their conduct, their behavior, and their mindset as well.

In 1 Corinthians 3:1, Paul said that he couldn’t speak to them as to “spiritual people” but as to “carnal” and “babes in Christ”.  Those who made up the Corinthian church, were once very immoral, worldly, and immature in their ways.  Paul said that they behaved as mere men still envying others, creating strife, and divisions amongst themselves (1 Cor. 3:3).

Paul was very upfront and harsh to the Corinthians in his first letter – he kept it real!  This is one of the few moments in scripture we see Paul actually feel bad for having to share such a harsh rebuke but it was necessary for the Corinthians.  As a fellow cohort of the gospel, I understand what Paul was feeling.  There are times when I have to be brutally honest and am left wondering whether or not I was too harsh.

However, we must remember that God rebuked the world not to make us sorry.  God rebuked the world because He loved the world and desired to lift it up from sin.  Jesus rebuked our sin not to put anyone down but to save all of our souls because He loves us. 

Paul rebuked the Corinthian church not to make them feel bad but because he loved them and desired they be saved unto everlasting life.  If I rebuke you of your sin it is not for my own self gain or pleasure, nor is it to put you down.  If I offer spiritual guidance it is because I love you and desire for you to do well!  This is what godly rebuke looks like.

Two responses to rebuke

Now, there are two ways one can respond to godly rebuke.  One could dwell in their  shame and guilt, and throw a pity party.  Or, one can be attentive to and heed godly rebuke.  The devil would want you to dwell in a pit but God wants you to come out of it!

So, rather than being left with regret, Paul rejoiced because their sorrow led to repentance (2 Cor. 7:9).  Those of the Corinthian church did feel bad after that first letter, but they chose not to dwell in sorrow.  They came to realize that they needed to make a change and the only way they could do so was by heeding Paul’s rebuke.

Paul wrote, “For you were made sorry in a godly manner … For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted.”  This, again, shows us that God’s rebuke is not unto death but is unto life for those that choose to heed it.  However, let’s notice that Paul also stated that the sorrow of the world produces death.”

This is a notion that reminds me of the old devil and angel on your shoulder cartoon.  On one side, you have the devil saying God doesn’t care about you and on the other side you have an angel saying that is not true.  

These thoughts remind of Job who wallowed in self-pity after the devil had attacked him.  Satan desired for Job to do as he once did and curse God to his face (Job 1:11).  Job’s friends didn’t bother even ministering to him but they chose to join Satan by accusing him of wrongdoing and adding to his pity party.   

Satan’s thought is if he can get you to feel so low and so inadequate, then you will turn against God.  Don’t give in to Satan’s wishes and turn against God!  We must choose life over death!

God Loves You

To help those dealing with self-pity and guilt, I want to remind you that God loves you— don’t heed the lies of the devil!  God desires for you to live free of self-pity and guilt.  How do I know this?

God has written to you a very long love letter asking for you to choose to live free of such turmoil.  In His love letter, the Lord explained why it was that He created you.  From the dust of the earth you were made as God breathed the breath of life into your nostrils (Gen 2:7).  God created you to be fruitful and to multiply – to prosper and be great (Gen. 1:28).

In His long love letter, the Lord shows you that He is more than merciful, even when you inevitably error.  This is shown in His love letter to you when mankind disobeyed in the garden.  God did not move to immediately destroy mankind but gave mankind a second chance which is still being repeated to this day.

In His long love letter, God answered your sins, my sins, and the rest of the world by giving His only begotten Son.  Christ showed us that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  However, though we do fall short, God’s love letter is one of redemption through His only begotten Son.  

So, God’s love letter leaves all of us with that same choice between two ways to go.  We can either continue to feel sorry for ourselves and let Satan feed us more pity at our pity party or we can pick ourselves up.  Trust me, God doesn’t want you to be beating yourself up to the point that you end up defeating yourself.

Forgive Yourself and Find Forgiveness

Here is my point today:  you must stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You must stop feeling inadequate.  You must pick yourself up from wallowing in guilt and self-pity!  The question is:  How does one stop wallowing in guilt and self-pity?

Know that you can be saved

First you must truly believe that you can be saved and that you are worthy to be saved!  Proof that anybody can be saved is found through Jesus’ words.  Jesus said to the Pharisees, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (Luke 5:32).  I love that verse so much because it’s Jesus telling us that we don’t have to be perfect to be saved.  Jesus came to save the imperfect!  Those who think they’re perfect won’t ever be saved.

You don’t believe that to be true?  You think you’re too inadequate or too sinful to be saved?  Just take a look at the myriad of folks who were saved throughout scripture.  

For example, Abraham, a man of great faith, wasn’t perfect but was saved.  Abraham chose to listen to Sarai, his wife, and tried to force into existence God’s promise.  He laid with Hagar and she gave birth to Ishmael who was not the son of promise.

Jacob was a schemer that stole his brother’s birthright and blessing.  Not only that, Jacob had two wives and two mistresses and had children by all four women!  God changed his name to Israel and his children became known as God’s chosen people.  God even desired to make a covenant with them so that they would become a kingdom of priests (Ex. 19:6).

Rahab was a gentile woman that lived in Jericho, whose occupation was that of being a prostitute.  She hid two Israelite spies in her home and ended up being saved from the fall of Jericho.  After the fall of Jericho, she gave her to the Lord and was saved.

I don’t have to bother with David’s story because everybody knows about him and Bathsheba.  Solomon was much worse than David with all of his wives, concubines, and how he built them all temples to serve their gods.  Yet, both of the men were loved and favored by the Lord with an everlasting kingdom coming through the seed of David.

Peter was an egotistical man and Paul did his best to hinder and stop the spread of the way of Christ before his change of heart.  Look, there are so many more names we find in scripture who could have been seen as being inadequate that the Lord saw was fit to be saved.  Don’t ever think you’re unsaveable in God’s eyes because that is the thought of a defeated spirit.

Heed God’s rebuke and repent

To stop wallowing in guilt and self-pity, heed God’s rebuke as all those names I mentioned did.  The Corinthian church chose to heed God’s rebuke through Paul and Paul rejoiced at their wonderful change.  Paul marveled at how diligence to the faith produced in them a clearing of themselves, indignation, fear, vehement desire, zeal, and vindication (2 Cor. 7:11).  No longer were they carnal (worldly) and immature sinners!

To do as they did in overcoming guilt and self-pity, you must love and forgive yourself.  This is something that many of us struggle to do today, but again, know that there is a reason God gave His only begotten Son.  

When you truly love yourself it will become much easier to face your past, your wrongs, and do something about them.  When you truly love yourself, you will go to the Lord and seek His relief and healing.  When you truly love yourself, you will seek His  forgiveness and peace. God will set you free from your pity and your guilt.  If God will forgive you, then you can forgive yourself.

Being able to forgive yourself and then being forgiven by God, to me, is the ultimate victory.  You see, it is victory over guilt, yourself, and sin.  Even more, it is the ultimate victory over the devil who lives just to watch your downward spiral.  Again, Satan wants you to tear yourself apart and be cast down just like him.

Yet, I give thanks to God because He knows our worth.  God, I want you to understand, knows your worth!  God sees you as more than worthy of His love, His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness and salvation.  As I have said in the past, if God believes you are worthy of saving, then you should certainly believe you are worthy of the.  So, I encourage you today to stop beating yourself up to defeat and choose to be lifted up to life.