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Honesty Is the Key: How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Shared on January 15, 2025

Introduction

Being honest is defined as being genuine and real; free from fraud or deception— legitimate, truthful, reputable, and respectful.  In our relationships, whether they are intimate, platonic, or familial, all we ever desire is honesty, right?

An honest person is far easier to trust than one who constantly lies and moves against you, right? When one proves to be dishonest, they can quickly lose trust. So, honesty is key to maining all relationships, right? Even when one messes up in a relationship, we find that honesty helps to rebuild and restore a relationship.  This will be the primary thought behind our bible study this week as we continue to take a look at the story of Joseph.

The Test Continues

From our last study, we know that Joseph had begun to test his brothers’ claim of being honest men (Gen. 42:19-20).  The reason Joseph was testing them was to see if they had truly changed from being the brothers that gave him away into bondage (Gen. 37:27-28).

So, Joseph had all but one of them go back to Canaan to bring Benjamin back to Egypt.  Now, something else Joseph did to test their honesty involved their money.  Joseph’s brothers had purchased grain from Joseph but Joseph had the amount of money they paid put back into their bags with the grain (Gen. 42:25). 

So, this test was a multilayered test that we have to remember Joseph brothers didn’t know they were participating in!  Would they bring Benjamin back with them to Egypt?  What would they do about the money being in their bags?

A dishonest and wicked person would have “stolen the grain” and leave their brother behind to rot.  Did Joseph expect his brothers to do that?  I imagine that Joseph was hopeful that they wouldn’t do that!  After all, he was giving them the opportunity to earn back his trust.

Even though one wrongs us, we should live with the hope in our heart that they will correct their wrongs. Wouldn’t you want someone to give you a fair chance to earn back their trust? We should always move with that kind of hope because God has that same hope for us. Let’s always keep in mind that God gave the world His only begotten Son with the hope of having a peaceful relationship with us.

How to Prove Your Honesty

So, as they were returning back to Canaan, scripture tells us that Joseph’s brothers rested along the way.  One of them opened their sacks to feed their donkey when he saw his silver in his sack (Gen. 42:27-28). Scripture tells us that they became afraid and their hearts failed them – or sank – in that moment.  Then we they made it back home, all of them opened their sacks to see silver in their sacks (Gen. 42:35).

Put yourself in their place for a moment. How would you have felt in this moment?

Let’s understand the weight of this moment for Joseph’s brothers. When they left Egypt, they most likely thought it would be no big deal to bring Benjamin back to Egypt to prove their honesty and free Simeon. Now, with it appearing like they had stolen from the man who dealt harshly with them, going back might not be such a piece of cake.

How many of us, after we have wronged someone, are quick to return to face them?  As I have grown older, something I have observed is how difficult it is for us to return to someone and admit our wrong.  Why is that?  Why is it so hard for us to admit when we are in the wrong?

That some thoughts can be used for spiritual application as well. Many of us find it incredibly difficult to confess our sins to God when we have knowingly sinned against Him.  Rather than immediately acknowledging our sin and confessing them to God, some of us do like Adam and Eve – we hide (Gen. 3:8-10). 

Do you understand that the best way you can prove your honesty is by simply being honest – truthful – in every circumstance? What’ the point of running, hiding, and refusing to acknowledge your wrong when everyone knows that you were in the wrong? That mindset is filled with all manner of pride and foolishness – that which is wicked.

Some of us have missed out on relationships because we couldn’t acknowledge our wrongdoings and seek forgiveness.  Even with God, some of miss out on a wonderful relationship because of such pride and foolishness. There is no reason to not be honest with the Lord when He already knows all you have done!

Working to Prove Their Honesty

Joseph has put his brothers in a difficult position but they said they were honest men! The rest of our study will focus on the choice his brothers would make.

Jacob’s blame made known

Jacob had grown incredibly disheartened and frustrated after hearing how things went in Egypt.  Jacob said to them, “You have bereaved me:  Joseph is no more, Simeon is no more, and you want to take Benjamin.  All these things are against me (Gen. 42:36).”

Honestly, Jacob’s reaction is quite understandable. There are many times where we get caught up in just how bad things are going and we will lose heart. That said, we must not ever lose heart – we must not ever give up hope when things don’t go well. Joseph had gone through a great ordeal, and if he was there in that moment, he would tell Jacob have some faith. Paul tells us to remember that all things work together for good to those that love the Lord (Rom. 8:28).

Willing to take the risk

Now, Reuben was ready to step up and earn his trust by going alone to Egypt with Benjamin.  Reuben went as far as to put the lives of his sons on the line if he didn’t return with Benjamin (Gen. 42:37)!  Let’s keep in mind that Reuben would also have to say something about the money being in his sack. We have seen Reuben step up before about doing what was right, so, this says a lot about his character (Gen. 37:21-22).  

Judah also pointedly said to Jacob that he would make the trip and wouldn’t hesitate to do so (Gen. 43:8-10).  Judah said that he would put his life on the line and take the blame should things go awry returning to Egypt! I love the mindset shown by both Reuben and Judah in this passage of scripture. No matter the circumstance, we must always remember that God has not given us a spirit of fear. God has given us a spirit of power, humility, and honesty!

Honesty is the key

So, when Joseph’s brothers returned to Egypt, they came with Benjamin, presents, and double the money that was in their sacks (Gen. 43:11-13).  When Joseph saw his brothers and that Benjamin was with them, he had a feast prepared for them (Gen. 43:16). When they neared Joseph’s stewards, they immediately admitted to money being in their sacks when they got home (Gen. 43:19-22).  

They were being honest men!  

Joseph’s steward said to them, “Peace be with you, do not be afraid.  Your God and the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks; I had your money (Gen. 43:23).”  I imagine that he raised his hands to stop them from apologizing and pleading for mercy because they didn’t do anything wrong.

The steward saying, “Peace be with you, do not be afraid,” is certainly a reminder of the words Jesus said to His disciples.  After Jesus’ resurrection, when a few of His disciples first saw Him, Jesus came saying to them, “Peace be with you” (John 20:19).  Many of us let fear hold us back from doing what is right. Many of us also let shame keep us back from doing what’s right. We should not ever feel any fear or shame.

As Joseph’s steward was taking his brothers to a feast, one day, Jesus will take us to a feast with our sins having been forgiven.  

So, the scripture that I have selected for our study this week concludes with the brothers rejoining Simeon and sitting down to feast.   This is where we are going to end our study this week.  Now, there is still more to go in this series as Joseph has one more test in store for his brothers.  Some of you may start to think they have done enough to prove themselves, but we’ll take a look at that in our next study!


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